Ann's Writings

John hadn’t been home for two months now, having gone off to training. His daddy’d been against it and his momma had cried some when he’d told them. His little sister, Maureen, had been shocked. She’d stayed quiet in her place on the couch, curling her legs up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. And Maureen wasn’t the type to be quiet either.

He’d packed up his things and had left early the morning of his eighteenth. He had figured that after the reaction he had gotten a week earlier, saying goodbye would be a real drag. So when he had spotted his father leaning against the family car, hours before the old man normally awoke, he was more than just surprised.

            “I’m not backing out of this, sir,” John had said, coming to a stop in front of the man and hoping to not sound as shaken as he felt.

            “Good boy,” Murray had said, after a pause and studying his son for that time. He clapped John on the shoulder and motioned to the vehicle. “I’ll take you for your physical, but things are going to be done a bit different, you hear?”

            “Sir?” John asked, handing over the small suitcase he had packed when motioned.

It was an hour’s ride to where John had to get, and he had planned on taking the bus. But if his father was driving him, he didn’t actually have to leave so early.

            “If you pass the physical, then we’re going to see about them waiting for you to finish up your studies first.”

            “Dad-”

            “Jonathan, you listen up, boy. Your mother and I haven’t spent all these years seeing to it that you get educated for you to throw it all away when it’s almost all over. You need to set a good example for Maureen, same as Tom did for you. Now come on, we’ll grab some breakfast on the way. Won’t know about the future ‘til we get there.”

And so it had been. John had passed his physical immensely well and a month later he had graduated and had headed off to training.

And now, for the next four days, he was back at home before being shipped off to war.

            “Johnny!” he’d heard his sister shriek before he was even completely out of the cab.

            “Reen!” he greeted her just as he was pummeled by all ninety two pounds of twelve year old Winchester girl.

Soon after, his mother too came off the porch and had him in a huge hug.

            “Agh, Ma! I can’t breathe!” he groaned out, smiling onto the shorter woman’s shoulder.

            “Mama, he needs to breath! Come on, Johnny! Come see my room!”

Maureen’s room turned out to be Tom’s room, and the eldest would surely not be pleased to see the girl curtains and fan posters up on his old walls.

            “Looks great, Maureen. Love what you’ve done here,” he smirked, picking up a doll from where it rested besides one of Tom’s old football trophies.

            “Mama said I could sleep in here, after I told them I wanted your room. Daddy said I couldn’t change a thing in here, since it’s still Thomas’ room and all and he hasn’t said I could have it. I like your room better cuz of the view and all, but Mama said you’d be back and you’d get mad. But then I took Susan and spent the night there anyway that first weekend you were gone.”

John shook his head, listening closely to his sister rattling on and on. It had annoyed the living hell out of him before, but not having had it near him for the past two months – and knowing he wouldn’t have it for a year in four days – really made him absorb in each one of her words.

            “Dad let you in there, after he said that you couldn’t sleep in my room? I see lost has changed round here.”

Maureen shook her head. She plopped down besides John on Tom’s bed and grabbed Susan from where she lay besides her pillow.

            “No. Daddy was right pissed.”

            “Maureen! Don’t say that.”

            “Well, he was real mad. And in the morning he had one of his talks.”

            “Meaning he spanked your disobedient self something bad, huh? Well, don’t hear that, that often. Daddy’s little girl got a spanking!” John teased.

            “Stop! Jonathan, don’t tease me! I’mma tell Daddy, then we’ll see who gets a spanking!”

            “Alright, easy sister. I’m sorry. Just nice not to take your fall for a change. Now I know why Tommy was always so glad I got mine when he’d come back.”

            “You’re mean! Besides, Daddy wasn’t really mad. It barely hurt, he just wanted to scare me a little is all.”

            “Right,” John scoffed. “Thought he was pissed. You shouldn’t lie, Reen. You know what that’ll get you!”

            “Agh! John you’re impossible! I’m going to go help Mama with the cooking. She’ll probably go all out now that her Johnnykins is back!”

            “Hey, don’t call me th- Reen!”

**~~**~~**

Getting back home was as every bit rewarding as John imagined it’d be. After two months of the base’s food he welcomed even his sister’s burnt cooking efforts!

The first day had gone pretty well. It had just been the three of them, John, Maureen and Denise, their mother. Ray had been called off to work in the next city over, and had decided to spend the night there once he realized how late it’d gotten, but he was real happy to have heard that John was back.

That first night, John slept like he hadn’t slept since way back when he wasn’t even eighteen yet. Before him and his two friends, Bobby and Mike, had decided to join up on the cause and he’d been anticipating every move since. Now that he had the training behind him, he just felt great to be back in his own bed and it was easy to sleep.

**~~**~~**

The second day had been a little better. For breakfast, Denise had made homemade waffles which she only reserved for birthdays and holiday mornings. They were as wonderful as he always remembered them to be.

Before their father had arrived home, Maureen couldn’t stop talking about her life and how she and Bethany, her best friend for all of eternity since that past summer, had been listening in on Beth’s mother’s radio about the war and how it sounded awful. Like all those adventures she loved reading about in those books she just couldn’t put down, but this was real.

John just listened to her stories as she rattled off things she’d heard about the war. All over, images of the war were coming in and it was something kind of appalling to see.

Ray had arrived and the day had continued much like he had never left and no time had passed. His mother and sister were in the house and Denise was trying to teach the over eccentric twelve year old the finer things of being a lady, or something. Murray took John out, drove him to a few places to announce he was back and that he was leaving soon. Everyone shook his hand or gave him a hug and wished him well.

By the time night time rolled along, John laid in his bed thinking for a while until sleep finally took over.

**~~**~~**

Morning of the third day and John didn’t want to get out of bed. He wanted to stay warm and safe under his covers and forget he ever did a foolish a thing as signup to go to war. What was he thinking?

            “Johnny?” he heard his father say right outside the door a few minutes after his alarm clock had rung.

John groaned and buried his head further into his pillow, basking in his laziness. He was just thinking that he was lucky and that his old man had left him to be when he felt an unforgiving swat land on his upturned backend.

            “Agh!” John groaned, sitting up instantly. Talk about a rude awakening.

His dad just grinned over at him.

            “What’s the matter, Johnny? You missed breakfast. Thought you might want to see the animals before you leave. I think Lucy missed you the most.”

Again, John groaned. Lucy was a stupid old cow and he wasn’t about to get up out of bed for her. It wasn’t like it was his job to care for her and the others anymore.

            “Thanks Dad, but I think I’ll just stay here. Catch some sleep while I still can, you know?”

Murray frowned.

            “Well, I don’t mind you not see the animals, but you ain’t staying in bed. Go shower up and get dressed. Your Mama managed to save you some breakfast and Tom’s going to be here tonight. Besides, you might want to go out and see all your friends.”

John sighed, trying not to glare at his father. Especially since that mild swat was still kind of slightly stinging.

            “Naw, goodbyes sound so, I dunno permanent and final. Rather see them when I get back.”

Ray crossed his arms over his shoulder and eyed his son over. He didn’t seem to like what he saw.

            “If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But don’t think for a minute that you’re staying in bed, John. I don’t imagine I’m going to have to warm your tail to get you going, but that’s what this seems to be getting to.”

            “What? No! Gah, fine, I’m up, okay? A few extra hours aren’t going to hurt anyone, you know,” John grunted, getting up from his bed and grabbing some clothes for the day.

            “Hey! Can that attitude, boy! Just because you’ve gone and made yourself a Marine don’t mean I won’t toss you over my knee for talking back like that. Now I know you’re thinking about tomorrow, ain’t we all, but that’s not excuse enough for that mouth of yours, you hear me?”

John looked over at his father and nodded. He didn’t want to take out his frustration on any of his family, and the threat of a spanking wasn’t ever taken lightly in the Winchester household.

            “Excuse me?”

            “Yes sir. Sorry, sir,” John responded holding eye contact for a moment before turning back to look in his closet.

            “After breakfast, come out to field and find me. We’ll find something to work off that attitude for you.”

**~~**~~**

When Tom called from a gas station to say that he was going to be a bit late, John just about lost it. It was the perfect kind of crap to top off his shitty day.

And he’d mumbled as much.

            “Johnny,” Maureen had giggled, shaking her head at him as they sat in the living room no one really wanting to watch the evening news.

Apparently, John hadn’t mumbled as low as he had expected.

            “Jonathan Derrick Winchester!”

And apparently, it’d also been loud enough for Ray to hear.

            “Sorry sir,” he was quick to try and amend, hoping that like any other time he had had the stupidity to curse and had gotten spanked or his mother had just about gagged him to death with soap, ‘sorry’ would be enough.

It wasn’t.

Murray got up from his seat and grabbed John by the arm, easily getting him to his feet with a strong tug and then swatted him twice and quite hard.

John took a step back, stubbornly refusing to reach back and try and alleviate some of the sting.

            “I said sorry!” he stated instead, glaring at the man in front of him.

Maureen was snickering from her place on the couch and luckily Denise was in the kitchen doing something so that she wouldn’t have to listen to the news.

            “And I said to watch that attitude! Now you’re cussing by your sister!”

The front door then opened, and as perfect timing might have it, Tom chose that moment to walk in.

            “Hey family. What did I miss?”

            “Tommy!” Maureen shrieked, leaping off the couch and dashing over to her eldest brother.

Tom was attending the University of Indiana after he had gone to the war for two years. He was going to return the next years again, seeing as his unit was being called up. But a two year degree was better than no degree and that was what he was hoping for.

            “Daddy just roasted Johnny’s butt for cussing,” she told her brother, hugging him tightly.

Tom shook his head, rolling his eyes at her.

            “Reen, that’s not the kind of thing a guy wants to hear when he walks into a room. Jeesh! He wants to know what’s for dinner at least!”

Denise came out from the kitchen when she thought she heard Tom’s voice and from there he pretty much took the attention away from John for the moment while he recounted for his brother what he’d been up to in school.

Ray had kept a keen lookout on his middle child, watching him as he interacted with Tom and Maureen, as Denise tried to fatten Tom up by giving him all of the leftovers for dinner and then serving dessert for them all. It was like John was just watching them live, not really participating. It was like he was already gone in his mind and it was not a happy sight for the father to see.

That night, after Maureen had headed up to her own room and their parents had gone up to bed, Tom and John took a moment to walk out to the darkened barn.

            “It’s like nothing else, JD,” Tom sighed, walking over to one of the horses that stood in its stall.

            “What?”

            “War, little brother. Man, I wish you hadn’t of signed up. That stuff they show on the TV and journals, it’s pretty bad. Worse in person.”

            “They said that back on base,” John said, dismissing his brother’s weary tone.

Tom was five years older than John and had been one of the first bunches that had left their town in Indiana. That had made the war so much more real than any of the pictures portrayed in the media. Now, each time that they had seen the pictures and heard the numbers, they had to worry if it was one of their local boys.

Tom scoffed.

            “They can’t teach you what you’re going to see. Hell, seeing ain’t even the worse part. It’s the damn noises and smells and heat that get to you. And that goddamn food. Base food is paradise compared to it, Johnny. Damn, I rather eat that old steamy meat, remember at the junior high, rather eat that every damn day of my life than those rations again.”

John smirks at his brother’s theatric shiver. He’d heard that food was consumed as just the survival basis it was made for. Lacked flavor and texture and everything that made it enjoyable.

            “So,” Tom said, leading the way out of the stalls and towards the milking cows. John had stayed quiet and that trouble him. “what god awful word did you say that had Dad bring the hammer down on you like that?”

John sighed.

            “Shit.”

Tom laughed, shaking his head.

            “Well, that really sucks. Gonna hear worse over there. Just don’t bring it back with you. You know, for Maureen and all.”

John nodded, walking slowly over to Lucy as she quietly grazed at her food. He had missed her, missed the whole lot of the animals. But seeing them wasn’t making things easier.

They headed back inside a few minutes later, Tom giving up on trying to find words to prepare his brother on what he would see. But there wasn’t the words to say it, and somehow he didn’t want to be the one to have to break it to him.

So they each headed up to their room and went to sleep.

**~~**~~**

John heard someone coming up behind him, but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered now. He was just six hours and twenty three minutes away from having to say goodbye to the whole of his family and there wasn’t any easy way to go about it.

            “Johnny? That you?”

John sighed. As if his night wasn’t bad enough, his dad was now awake and he was going to be right pissed with him. Terrific.

Ray walked into the living room were John was watching the news on mute.

            “Johnny, don’t look at those things. You should be sleeping, get your rest for tomorrow.”

John sighed and Ray walked over to turn off the TV set and spotted the two empty beer bottles resting at John’s feet.

            “Jonathan Derrick, were you drinking?”

John just sighed and kept looking at the silent pictures passing on the screen. No need to answer what was clearly obvious.

Murray sighed and shook his head and walked over to the light switch, flooding the living room with lights.

John groaned.

            “You know better than to drink, John Derrick. And doing it behind our backs, sneaking around like this!”

            “What’s it matter if I drink? I’m going to be gone in a few hours anyway. Then I’ll be someone else’s problem. Just go back to bed, Dad.”

            “Oh, we’re going to bed soon enough. But clearly you’re in need of something else first.”

John was about to ask what it was that his father was implying when he looked over at the man and knew exactly what he was talking about.

            “No way!” John yelled, getting to his feet and only wavering a little. “You can’t do that!”

            “This is my house, boy, and I can damn well roast your bottom if I so chose to. You want to come here and drink when you know damn well you’re not old enough to and then expect me to do nothing! Just go to bed!”

Ray got right up in front of his son, making it hard for John not to keep eye contact.

            “Old enough? I’m old enough for the Corps, I’m old enough to fight for the country and die for the country, but I’m not old enough to drink? Bullsh-”

That was more than Ray needed to hear. One thing was his son arguing with him and another was him outright cursing in his face. Grabbing his arm, Ray twisted John around to face the couch he had just unoccupied and pushed him down onto it.

            “Don’t you dare curse at me, boy!” he said, bringing his hand down to land a swat and wishing he wasn’t just dressed in his sleepwear because he would have rather of used a belt to deliver the message.

            “Get off,” John growled, starting to twist on the couch to move sideways off of it and get out of the way as another swat landed.

            “Stay still, son! You dare spew curse words in my face, you know what’s coming to you!” he reminded his son, grabbing his shirt to hold him in place as he swatted again. “Thought I reminded you about that this afternoon.”

            “Alright! I’m sorry,” John groaned, hating the feeling of the spanks and the sounds that it elicited from him as the hand connected with his butt. If they weren’t done soon, they were going to surely wake someone else up in the house.

            “Good to hear, but that don’t change a thing. You broke a few house rules here, boy, and you ain’t leaving here until you remember just that.”

John turned to look over his shoulder and could see from the set look on Ray’s face that he meant just that.

            “Stop! Enough already! I’m eighteen, you can’t do this! There’s no point!”

Ray just shook his head and grabbed a hold of John’s sweatpants, giving them a firm tug, taking his underwear down with it too. He was going to show his son that there was a point, a huge point.

            “Well, I’ll just keep swinging ‘til I get tired, then.”

John gritted his teeth against the statement that was on his lips. The first swat on naked skin was torturous, but he wasn’t about to start crying. Hell, this would be nothing compared to going to war and he was days away from that. So, if his father wanted to spend their last moments together smacking away at his ass, then so be it.

Ray continued to spank while he saw the whiteness of John’s butt cheeks turn deeper shades of red. He heard someone approach and thought it might have been Denise, but he wasn’t going to stop because of it. His Mama had seen his bottom plenty of times to not be surprised by the sight of it.

            “Dad? What happened?”

Ray looked over his shoulder, startled for a second in his thinking that maybe Maureen had come down. That he would not want. But it Tom, so he just kept right on swatting, ignoring John’s irritated groan of recognition. He had already reached the point where John usually would start pleading and sobbing, but he figured his ‘grown’ son had maybe gotten it into his head that his status as a military man now meant he had to hold that all in.

            “You want to tell your brother what happened, John Derrick?”

John groaned, hating every time that his middle name was said. It clearly meant that he was going to be in that position for quite a while longer. He didn’t like the fact that Tom was there now and watching but it could have been worse.

            “Dad, ease up a bit,” Tom said softly, pleading on his brother’s behalf.

            “Tell him!” Ray repeated, landing a particularly hard swat on his otherwise unmarked thigh.

            “Agh! He’s crazy, Tom!” John grounded out.

            “Crazy!” Murray repeated landing another hard thigh hit. “Crazy is what you must be, boy. Drinking and cursing in my house, and then disrespecting me. And you think you’ll make it in the Corps, son. You’ve got another thing coming.”

Tom kept his distance after hearing what their father had said. He looked the room over and quickly spotted the two bottles a few feet away from all the commotion. He shook his head, glad that he had stopped their mother from coming down himself and that she’d gone to sit with Maureen if the littlest Winchester awoke.

It took another five minutes of hard spanking to finally break John, and it wasn’t all the from the smacks. He hated thinking that he’d leave his family now on a sour note and if he did die overseas, this would be the most prominent memory for them. But it was Tom’s soft words at the five minute mark, telling him that it was okay and they weren’t going anywhere, that he was coming back that finally broke him.

At the sound of the quiet sobbing, Ray gave a curt nod to his eldest. Maybe that was really what John had needed all along, but regardless the spanking had been necessary too. He landed a few more swats, noticing sadly that there was likely to be a little bruising. As he let up the hold he had on his son, he watched him quickly spring up and get his clothing situated. Before he could split tail and run though, Ray grabbed him in a hug.

            “Damn fool kid,” he whispered keeping John firmly to his chest. He wanted to say something, something worthwhile and maybe something thought provoking. Something that would help his son on those endless nights when he felt back up against a wall and maybe didn’t know what he was even fighting for anymore. But he just didn’t know what.

            “You come back home, that’s an order,” Ray murmured, keeping his arms strong around his son as he pulled himself together, father than he had when he’d been younger. He didn’t know if he was proud or heartbroken.

            “Yessir,” John muttered, words choking through the tightness of his throat.

Ray nodded, tightened the hug for a fraction of a second and then released him. He wasn’t surprised when John took a step back and ran right out the front door.

**~~**~~**

Tom found John leaning against one of the fence post a good half mile from the house and clear into the field. There, he stood looking out into the pasture and the night sky shimmering with stars all around them.

            “JD, fancy meeting you here,” Tom said, not surprised when his brother didn’t say anything back. He got up beside him and just sighed.

“Alright already, something’s on your mind. You might as well tell me.”

“Nothing.”

“Johnny.”

“Just leave it, Tom. Go back inside, it’s cold out.”

“Yeah, it is,” Tom said in a sarcastic tone. “And that’s my line, little brother.”

John sighed, sparing Tom a glance before looking back out to the field.

            “Tom.”

            “You’ll be lying if you say you’re fine. And you know what happens to Winchesters that lie, right?”

John sighed.

            “I’ll go back soon enough.”

            “Well, I like some night air as much as the next guy. I’ll just sit up here while we’re waiting on soon o’clock.”

John glared up at Tom after he hopped onto the fence to look down at him. If Tom wanted to sit there and wait, that wasn’t his problem.

            “It’s bad, Johnny. But, you’ll be okay. You stubborn and you’re smart and if you keep your head about you, you’ll make it. Hell, you’re too stubborn not to make it. So you better not let me down.”

            “Or what?” scoffed John.

Tom grabbed the top of John’s head and turned it to look over at him. He studied the green eyes for a minute, memorizing them and smiled.

            “You get yourself killed, John Derrick, and I’ll personally go and get your sorry dead self back here and really kick your ass. Understood, Marine?”

There was seriousness to Tom’s threat and it gave John almost enough belief that his brother would do just that if he screwed things up. He smiled back and nodded his head until Tom not so gently smacked a palm to his forehead.

            “Yes sir, Tom sir,” he teased.

            “Alright then!” Tom smiled, hopping off the fence and standing besides his brother. “Crisis averted. Let’s get you all tucked into bed before the damn sun rises. What’dya say?”

            “Might as well,” John stated softly, looking over at the sky for a second more.

            “Wrong answer!” Tom said, sharply swatting at John’s already heated bottom.

            “Gah! Tom!”

            “Come on, JD. Ah, not another word, let’s go! I’m freezing my balls off here!”

John followed Tom back towards the house, careful as they walked to not say anything that would anger his brother, but glad that Tom kept the conversation going and they didn’t have to walk in silence.

**~~**~~**

The boys on the transporter noticed his squirming, and yeah they had their laugh. They teased him, tossing out all kinds of possibilities of what could have done it. When he didn’t offer up the answer, they started in on some of their own scandals and the trip hadn’t been so bad.

His first week on that foreign soil had been a hell of a start. They’d almost all died a few times, but they were making it out day by day.

That last day, Ray had driven him back again. It was further away than the testing center had been, and he’d smile at him when he’d sat down in the car with a hiss. John didn’t find it all that humorous.

Right before Ray pulled away and left John for the last time, he reminded him that at least he’d have a constant reminder of his values and family for the days to come.

He didn’t find that all that funny either.

John often fingered the necklace Tom had given him. It was a freaky looking thing, but he’d said it’d make him safe. Well, at least the dang thing looked pretty neat. He smiled, thinking back to the story Tom had told him that last morning, some made up bit about how he’d gotten it out of a grave of some old relative of theirs, Sandford Collum, Stephen Collins, Samuel Colt, Simon Carter, or something like that. Said it was blessed and sacred and ancient. He’d started in on some horror story about how he had come to find it but Maureen had grimace and Denise had scolded her eldest and Tom had just winked. Told him that he’d tell him when he got back.

John was really looking forward to it.

 

END.